Lady Joy Birsch: Puppy Destructor

LJ has a high aptitude for creating messes and covering herself in yard. She loves paper, attacks anything left on the stairs, brings pine cone remnants inside our home, digs up tree roots, locates hidden skeins of yarn, and destroys cardboard boxes. Yes, I acknowledge that these are standard puppy traits, but why the yarn? It is bad enough that we have two wardrobes (one with holes and one without) but now she is prohibiting the construction of new garments.
Lady Joy does her best to will the opening of the bathroom door. In order to cleanse her of the messes (and the yard bits attached to her) we shower the little girl. This is not her favorite activity and yet she always returns to the scene of the crime to lap up water.